This is Why Your Burger Receipt Sported a Robot

 Mid-way through my senior year of high school, the administration attempted to crack down on the proliferation of unauthorized keys circulating throughout campus and supplemented the knob lock on the principal’s office door with a deadbolt. Undeterred, or more specifically determined to demonstrate that such actions would be fruitless, two students (who shall remain unnamed because although the statute of limitations for trespassing in that state is three years (MD Code §5-101), I’m still a nervous guy) conspired to conquer the lock. In a plan that would have made Maxwell Smart take notice, one pupil distracted the principal’s secretary while the other slipped into the adjoining bookroom and unlocked the window. Later that night, the boys gained access to the library, which was the next room on the corridor, slipped out the window, and shimmed across a second-story ledge to pry open the bookroom window, through which they entered to gain access to the adjoining office. They then unlocked the principal’s office door from the inside and quickly deposited 254 inflated balloons (prepared earlier) throughout the office before leaving.